Ambiguously Disgruntled Manifesto

wasting your time since 1975

1/22/2003

Well, with a little help from this Page 2 article, I�ve decided to try to rate the best Stupor Blows that I have seen. The first one I watched was XVI, in 1982, with a young Joe Montana leading the upcoming 49ers against the Bengals. I don�t remember much about the game, actually, and my memories of many of the games from when I was younger are hazy, but dammit, I have an opinion, and its Stupor Blow week.

1) XXV Giants 20, Bills 19
History has twisted our perceptions, but does anyone besides me remember that the Bills were consensus favorites to win this one? Remember, this was the First of their four straight losses, and they were like the Rams before the Rams: a high-powered offense no-one could stop, and a great defense. In fact, many people felt �robbed� of an ideal matchup when the Giants upset the 49ers in the NFC Championship. Add to that the lack of the two-week build-up and the fact that the Iraq War had Just started � which created a notable lack of over-hype � and all this was was a truly classic battle.

2) XXIII 49ers 20, Bengals 16
How can you beat the last-minutes drive by the 49-ers? An Epic battle, tense and close throughout, not one of these games that Ends great but the journey there wasn�t all that fabulous (like XXXVI).

3) XXXII Broncos 31 Packers 24
What Didn�t this one have? The Redemption of John Elway and the Broncos? Check. A consensus heavy underdog pulling off the scrappy upset? Check. An entertaining game throughout; meaning a decent amount of scoring and a close, tense game for the entire 60 minutes? Check, check, and check! A great finish; meaning it comes down to the �final minutes?� Check. Great game� just a Great game�

4) XXXIV Rams 23 Titans 16
A few of my friends and I remarked how much this �felt like� XXV before the game, with the Titans as the Giants and the Rams as the Bills. It largely didn�t disappoint� except the first half of the game was a SNOOZER! It was 9-0 Rams at the Pause, and as truly, epically, fantastically, impossibly dramatic as the finish was� we Still had to wait through that stinker first 30!

5) XXXI Packers 35 Patriots 21
Well, the 4th quarter was a snoozer, honestly, but the first three were Great stuff. Bledsoe had the heavy underdog Pats within a TD at the end of the 3rd, but a Desmond Howard K.O. return on ensuing kick put the Pack up 14, and then they just abused Bledsoe to hang on to it. No Stupor Blow has Ever gotten off to a better start, with G.B. jumping out to a quick 10-0 lead, then Bledsoe looking like an MVP in leading the Pats to a 14-10 lead � All In the 1st Quarter!!! Plenty of intrigue leading up to it, with the �Parcells is surely leaving� angle, The packers back in the Blow after All That Time. It was the �underdog with a punchers chance� vs. the �heavy favorite,� and it was good for 3/4ths.

6) XXXVI Patriots 20 Rams 17
Okay, kids, this will tell you how much I truly enjoy a good game� for more than 1 quarter. I seem to be the only person in America who remembers how lame this game was for the first 3 quarters. Okay, I know, it had the best ending Ever in the Super Bowl, hands down. That Rams 14-point comeback, then the crazy winning field goal drive. Yeah, best finish Ever, I am fully aware of that, people. But I Also remember yelling out, to all my friends in the room late in the third quarter, �This game Sucks!!! Something Interesting Needs To Happen!!!� The Highlight of the first three quarters was easily, hands-down, the U2 halftime show � by far the best halftime show Ever. But, yeah, I know, that Ending� WOW!

7) XXX Cowboys 27 Steelers 17
Well, people will be All over me for this one, but this was an interesting, compelling game with the classic �fatal flaw� dynamic that kept the Heroes from succeeding. Like most people, I was rooting Passionately against the Cowboys. The Steelers did everything they needed to win the game. They held Emmitt Smith in check, and generally kept the Cowboys high-powered passing under control. They converted that nifty unexpected onsides kick to start the 2nd half. But then Neil O�Donnell threw those two completely inexplicable interceptions to Cowboys corner Larry Brown. The Steelers lost the Game because of those two passes, which, if I live to be a Thousand Years old, I will never understand what O�Donnell was trying to do with.

� and a few of the Worst (in no particular order)
XXIV 49ers 55, Broncos 10: there was never a game played. Sure, there were some guys who ran around out there in uniforms of the teams, but a Game was never played�
XXXVII Cowboys 52 Bills 17: with the Bill's 25 turnovers in the first half, and 42 for the game, this one lacked Credibility from the get-go. When the Highlight Reel play comes with an overweight D-lineman getting the ball knocked out of his hand just before he crosses the goal line by a hustling WR, keeping the WR�s team within 35 points late in the game; well, you Know the game sucked!
XXXIX 49ers 49 Chargers 26: why did they even Bother. I think the 49ers actually had 56 points on the board by the 7 minute-mark of the 1st quarter, then they took a TD off just for grins when the Chargers made one of those �its late in the game, the other team is half-assing it because the game is so out of reach for us, but we can still score some token, garbage-time points� surges.
XXXV Ravens 34 Giants 7:The funny thing about this one is that Everyone knew the game would completely suck, so in a way we weren�t disappointed. I�ve never seen such transparent �I�m only watching for the Commercials� attitudes as we had on This day. That weird INT-return, K.O-return, K.O.-return 3 quick TD sequence lent the game an all-too brief, absolutely false sense of entertainment.
The first � of XXXVI: Patriots 17, Rams 3: the Rams never showed up to play, and I�ve never seen a coach so screw a team with bad play-calling and game-planning as Martz did to his high-powered Rams. But give credit to the Patriots, who made the few big defensive and special-teams plays they had to, with a couple decent drives from the offense, to be pulling off the gigantic upset after 3 quarters�

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