HEY EVERYBODY! IT'S 02-02-02!!!!!!

I've been hearing/seeing a lot of people picking the Patriots to win outright. I can see why a lot of people would bet on the Pats for the spread (14) seeing as how they're one of those teams that plays a "keep it close" style... but c'mon. The Patriots winning, I just don't see it. Sure, upsets can happen, that's the beauty of sports, but picking the Patriots to win. It seems to me people are trying to catch lightning in a bottle: by picking the Pats they are covering that chance, that minute chance, that New England pulls off the second greatest upset in NFL history so that they can 'look like geniuses" when its over. Of course, you could say that picking the Rams is gutless, because they are the clear favorites and everyone is picking them. Well, there's a reason for that, they are the better team, and if you believe the better team usually wins, then you pick the Rams.

Going down a checklist of the matchup, the Rams just dominate. Better QB, running back, wide recievers, D-line, secondary. I'd give a "push" on the O-line and the linebackers, and the only thing the Pats have is special teams. If you include intangibles, you give the Pats two checks. That's it. Special Teams and Intangibles. Guess what, they beat the Raiders on intangibles (I don't Care what the rule is, not calling that a fumble is Criminal, just plain Criminal!!!) and Special Teams/Intangibles (two TD's last week, the intangible is the blocked field goal bouncing into the arms of a defender -- most blocked FG's flutter harmlessly at the line of scrimmage!). I mean, it Can happen, but it will take a turnover-ridden self-destuction similar to the Rams two losses this season (in fact, losing to the Saints by a field goal, just three points, after 8 turnovers. 8!!! and they lost by three! The average margin of defeat for teams committing more than 6 TO's in a game has got to be at least three touchdowns, and were talking three Points).

I'm no anti-Pat, but I'm having a tough time with a team that wins on a criminal call (I don't care what the rulebook says... it's Criminal. The referees should be locked up for that shit) and benches a potential future Hall-of-Famer. Having said all that, I'm going to be wearing my Bledsoe jersey, and the second my boy steps into the game, it'll be Go Patriots!

Well, unless you've been on Mars or something, you know that Valentine's Day is fast approaching. For those of us on line a lot, we notice a definite shift in pop-up add material, and links to Valentine's bullshit on start-up pages like attbi.com or msn.com.

I have observed a very clear increase in pop-up adds for online dating services lately. Why this is is fundamentally obvious, and i don't wish to dive into a rant about Valentine's day or dating or anything like that. Instead, more than anything, I have been struck by the sheer attractivness of the people featured in the photographs that are part of the adds. This is sort of a cliched subject, to say the least, but I still want to put my own twist on it... mainly because I like to hear myself talk.

The main reason people can't get dates, and find themselves resorting to online dating services, is that they are ugly or stupid. However, even very stupid people who are exceedingly attractive can get dates. The rest of the people, regardless of attractiveness or intelligence, have some sort of moderate-severe psychological disorder. This is the truth. I'm one of these people, so I guess that makes me feel like I'm qualified to discuss it. I've always felt like people who Can get dates/girlfriends dispensing advice to people who Can't get dates/girlfriends is often as usless as ordering in English at a French restaurant where no-one speaks English.

So that leaves a vast pool of people who are left to desperate measure to ease their lonely suffering. Trying to strive outside that pool is like climbing Mt Everest on one of those guided expeditions and the most you've ever climbed is Mt. Rainier. Enough people manage to do it that everyone believes this "see, you can do it, you just have to believe in yourself" bullshit, particularly when it's someone who can get dates/girlfriends telling you this. Really, there may be nothing as condescending as that. These unskilled climbers who manage to summit Everest on these ridiculous expeditions get there more often than not by luck, and having the support team of Sherpas and experienced guides practically carry them to the top.

So what is my point? Well... I don't really have one, I'm just rambling. I guess I could also note that you hear a lot of women complain about the "losers" they've dated, and generally bemoaning all the "losers" on the "dating scene." That has always left me somewhat puzzled, as a genuine "loser," who exactly these men ARE. If they were really "losers" they wouldn't get dates at all, so what's up. Are they really good in the sack? Are they good looking? Do they just have the charm and charisma to bullshit their way into realtionships? I've tried at various times to open this dialogue with women I know and never get anywhere, we always seem to talk in circles, and I always come away with the impression that it's the woman herself that has the least idea what's going on. So, what's up?

On that note, I will remind people that tomorrow is the first of February, and I will be retireing to the Bunker for the rest of the Valentine's season, probably emerging the night of the 15th. I'm not entirely sure what this year's bunker plans are, but you can look through last year's bunker page to get an idea.

Here�s my State of The Malcontent Address:

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okay, it's Super Bowl week and let's have some fun here. This doesn't mean anything and it's not real money, because no-one would ever pay up, so were just doing this for grins. Lets say you have $100 you want to bet on the Super Bowl. The point spread is Rams by 14, the over/under is 53, and the money line is Rams -700, Patriots +500. You can divide up you $100 any way you want on the bets; just one bet, two bets, or all three, however you want it split up. Email me at jake_reeder@hotmail.com with your bets by Sat morning, and I'll post them Sat. night. Sunday night we can see who has the most money.

Don't give me this "I don't know anything about football" crap or "I don't know what this shit means" cop-out. You don't need to know anything about football to make these bets, really, and I'm going to explain it all below.

Point Spread: I'm assuming everyone knows this, but in case you don't: The Rams are favored by 14. If you bet on the Rams, they have to win by MORE THAN 14 points for you to collect, if they win be LESS THAN 14 you lose. If you bet on the Patriots and they lose by LESS THAN 14 (or win) you collect, if they lose by MORE THAN 14 you lose. If the Patriots lose by 14 it's a push.

Over/Under (o/u): This is a bet on the COMBINED score of the two teams. If the combined score is over 53 or under 53. It's simple: bet the under, and you win if the final combined score is under 53, bet over and win if it's over 53. If it's 53 it's a push.

Money Line: I suspect very few people will bet this one. This is a bet on who will win the game, no point spreads involved. If the line is negative, you bet that much to WIN $100. I.E. the Rams are -700 to win, so you would bet $700 to win $100 if the Rams win (or $70 to win $10, $35 to win $5, $7 to win $1, or whatever). If the line is positive, you win that much off a $100 dollar bet. The Patriots are +500, so you would bet $100 to win $500 if the Pats win (or $50 to win $250, $10 to win $50, or whatever).

Here are my bets, subject to change if I change my mind before Saturday:
$70 on the UNDER
$25 on the Rams to cover
$5 on Pats to win (money line)

The weekend that WAS:
Friday, about 6:30 pm. At the conclusion of the back-to-back weeknight Simpsons airing on Ch 13, I announce my departure to Greg and Rich, who were lifting weights in the basement. �I�m going to Mike and Mary�s for dinner, I�ll be back later.�

Later turned out to be the next day, at about 2:30. The Welshman Matt joined us for a curry dinner followed by some lively air hockey and foosball competition. Mike proceeded to be a big lump while the Lemur, the Welshman, and the Malcontent dropped hints about wanting to actually Go somewhere. Hints quickly became demands, and we found ourselves navigating through the heavily falling snow to the legendary Yardarm pub in Des Moines.

After a few pitchers, three to be exact: the first Pyramid Snowcap followed by two rounds of Black Butte Porter, we finally decided we would indeed go bowling, an idea first proposed while still at the apartment. Furthermore, we would be going to lovely Secoma Lanes in Federal Way, because the Welshman knew the barman there.

Upon our arrival, and amidst the gather and donning of bowling shoes and finding of the assigned lane, the Welshman delivered the news that the bar was closed. This was a bit of a stunning development, seeing as how it was only about midnight, if not slightly before. We rolled two games, with me winning both rounds posting pathetic scores of 104 and 118. Mike brought up the rear, rolling a horrible, yet oddly fortunate, score of 69 in the second game.

Saturday, about 5:00 pm. Greg and I started the brewing process of the Dunkelweizen (or so I hope) due out in April. Just after 6:00 Troy showed up as were finishing the beer so that we could execute our plan of dinner and beer at the Elysian brewery. About 6:30 Rich called from Julie�s house and announced that they would be joining us. We left around 7:15, with the Beer happily cooling and waiting for the yeast.

The Elysian has some of the best beer in the city, yet has a disturbingly limp-wristed offering of food. I had known this already, but went under the premise of the sweet, sweet nectar that flows from their taps. I had to remind myself of this while scanning the menu and finding items such as the Vegetarian Cheese Steak sandwich. I settled for the fish n� chips � always solid pub fare.

Troy split shortly after 8, and the rest of us sat around drinking beer and bullshitting until after 9. On our way back to Rich�s rig we realized we had the misfortune of being parked in front of an establishment called �The Cuff.� We headed home and all realized we sucked because it was 9:30 and we all felt tired.

Arriving home, we added the yeast to the Beer, Rich and Julie split for Julie�s place, and Greg and I decided to watch �Planet of the Apes.� Planet of Estella Warren�s skimpy outfit, I say� and one of the more retarded movies I have memory of sitting all the way through � especially at home.

Sunday, about 10:30. I arrived at Jon�s apartment bearing garlic powder and two cookie sheets (which I just remembered I left there). Tyler & Angie showed up with Mike and Mary, as planned, for breakfast at 11:00. The theme of the Event was the rash consumption of mimosa, deteriorating to screwdrivers for some of us, and Anneke�s slow realization of just what a bunch of degenerate savages I have for friends.

After that, it was football watching, dinner making, and Simpsons viewing. I will only root for the Patriots next week if Drew Bledsoe plays.

I just got done watching "Planet of the Apes." One of the most retarded movies EVER. But ya gotta love Estella Warren. (Homer Simpson-esque *augh* sound)
She's one hot chick.