I know I�ve written about my own questions regarding the state of my abilities in soccer for these pages before. There are games where I feel like I am/can be a great player, and there are others where I wonder if I�m deluding myself. Then there�s a game like tonight.

The team we where playing sucked. I overheard some of them talking after the game about being in over their heads and getting their butt kicked every game (this was game 4 of this season, obviously this is a new team), and one of them pointing out that they need to play better competition to improve. While that is absolutely true, I�m also certain that most of those guys will never be at the level of me or the league we�re in in general. That�s just a statement of fact, some guys can play this game well, some can�t. It reminded me that I am certainly in the category of �someone who can play the game.�

For the record, I scored two goals, and had two assists. The final score was 10-2 (we won, obviously). My second goal was merely a tap into an empty net after a misplay by the goalie, not really anything to write home about. It was a typical game for me, given the factor of lousy competition. I made a couple plays that must have looked awesome from the sidelines, but I tend to dwell on my missed shots, missed passes, and general bad touches � which I always have my share of. I think my teammates see me as one of the better players on the team, at least from the standpoint that I�ve shown I can score AND play defense. I�ve always though of myself as primarily a defensive player, but I�ve taken the role as �the forward who�s a great defender� (indoor soccer compares well to hockey) and the �scrappy playmaker,� maybe like an Adam Graves (in his prime about eight years ago, for those of you who know what I�m talking about).

Anyway, this team we played had picked up a couple stragglers, I�m guessing guys who just hang out at the arena looking to jump into a game. I heard a secondhand report from one of my teammates right before the game started that �a couple of these guys are pro prospects.� Now, that can mean a lot� there are a surprising number of semi-pro soccer leagues around, it doesn�t mean the guy�s one step away from the MLS. It didn�t take long to figure out who they were, there was a third guy I wasn�t sure about, but these two guys were 95% of their offense. The better of the two (significantly better, I must say!) scored both their goals, had an awesome shot, and could juke anyone out of their shorts (he did it to me a couple times). However, he was more interested in creating for himself rather than playmaking, so it was relatively easy to contain him. I decided to test him a few times when I had the ball, and there were four instances where I had him one-on-one on the move. I juked him three times and he stripped me clean one time. If this guy is really all that great, I shouldn�t be able to juke him. I�m not exactly the greatest ballhandler around. There was another instance where I passed it between his legs to a teammate, but that was honestly more a chance occurrence than anything else.

But then again, I�ve learned over my years of soccer playing that some guys just can�t play defense. In fact, a shockingly large percentage of players can�t play defense. I mean, they will play defensively, and even make defensive plays, but they just don�t have the knack for it. It�s really a positioning thing, keeping your head on a swivel, reading the attack, waiting for the moment when they screw up� that sort of thing. A lot of great players just don�t have it � players that are WAY better than me!

here's a great piece on the political-social ramifications of the "Black Hawk Down" events. it's a bit wordy but worth reading:
http://slate.msn.com/?id=2060941

I�m having my second glass of my Porter this evening and I must say it is very good. It is MUCH better than it was when I first tried it NYE. I�m beginning to think I was a bit foolish now for trying it so soon. It�s pretty damn good stuff, If I can say so myself.

I saw �Black Hawk Down� Sat. night with Jon and Anneke. I was prepared to write a big long piece on the social-political ramifications and my reaction in that light to the topic of the movie. I put off writing this until today when I realized I really didn�t want to do that. Let me just say, if you don�t walk out of the theater pondering the meaning of it all, it has been lost on you and you�ve wasted your money.

It is an incredibly intense film. I absolutely don�t want to make any comparisons to �Saving Private Ryan� but I will in saying that this movie made more of an impact than any other since SPR. In case you�ve been hiding in a cave, you know the movie is about a special forces operation in Somalia back in �93, when �we� (AKA out military) had a presence there as part of a UN mission to provide humanitarian aid to the war-torn and hunger-stricken country. It turned out, of course, that it was the various �clans� involved in the ongoing civil war there that were using food supplies as a sort of weapon, limiting, if not halting altogether, it�s distribution. It quickly became clear, to those personnel �in the field� that the most powerful warlord, and his �clan� who controlled the capital city of Mogadishu, had to be eliminated to stabilize the relief efforts, as well as the civil war in general.

So, �we� got involved in a war we were never going fight in the first place, all as part of a well-intended and high-minded relief effort, in a place where armed �militiamen� (including women and children) were essentially heavily-armed loose mobs in the street. After the events depicted in the movie, �we� ended up pulling out altogether, making �us� look like a bunch of wusses. But are you a wuss if you pull out of a fight you never wanted to be in?

The point of it all comes down to the fact that the incredible bravery and effort put forth by a relatively small group of our best and most highly-trained soldiers, at a high causality rate, ended up all being for naught. The unfortunate post-script doesn�t make what happened any less significant, and it is a story that needs to be told.

Earlier this evening, Greg seemed really restless and announced that he was really hungry, and that he wanted to go somewhere. I declared that a night of beer and darts were in order, but he decided that he wasn�t interested in having any beer. After some hemming and hawing, Greg decided to reheat some frozen spaghetti sauce and cook some pasta for dinner. I didn�t object, as I wasn�t that hungry myself and only planned on having a bit.

He started to prepare the food while I just sat and watched TV � I figured this was his mission and I wasn�t really hungry so I wouldn�t contribute, besides, all he had to do was cook pasta and heat sauce. At one point, I got up to take some dirty dishes into the kitchen and discovered that he had added some frozen corn to the still thawing source.

�Is that corn� I asked.

�Yeah,� Greg responded, completely nonplussed.

�Why did you put corn in the sauce?�

�It needed a vegetable.�

I decided, at this point, that I must get inside the head of this madman. Whatever it was that had possesed him to put corn in the spaghetti sauce, I was determined to reveal it, come Hell or high water.

I continued to hammer him with relentless questioning as the food was prepared and consumed. He continued to seem annoyed that I would wonder what the seed of his apparent insanity was. Corn in the spaghetti sauce. It wasn�t so much the fact that he had done it � everyone who knows Greg realizes his potential for such seemingly random actions � it was the fact that he acted like this was completely normal. It was almost as if I was crazy for not being familiar with the ancient tradition of corn in spaghetti sauce. After all, �it needed more vegetables.� It was beside that point that when this sauce was made, it was loaded with bell peppers, onions and mushrooms. It was beside the point that if Greg had decided he wanted a vegetable with the meal he could easily have prepared some corn as a side dish. No, it�s Common for people to put corn in spaghetti sauce, or so it seemed by his reaction.

�Have you thought about putting corn in sauce before,� I asked.

�Yeah,� Greg responded chirpily, and confidently �I could put some carrots in to.�

�Please don�t.�

This was, after all, His meal; I just planned to skim a little off the side. Why should I get concerned about what someone does to spaghetti sauce? I guess I can�t help myself sometimes, it just seemed too random to put corn in it, I just Had to figure out why he did it.

�See, I bet you can�t even tell by the taste there�s corn in here,� Greg stated authoritatively as we began to eat.

I paused, it was a pause of me trying to rewrap my mind around what was going on, and why I had started this whole thing.

Greg saw my pause as an acknowledgment of his statement, and vocalized as such.

�Actually, it has imparted a sweet corn-y taste to it.� I responded, staring at my plate. The sauce had also become watery, which I attributed as a combination of it being defrosted and the addition and the frozen corn.

I eventually did dig deep enough to find the True reason why he added the corn. It needed more vegetables.