We're back from Costco. It was easily our best run yet, we've set a new standard for ourselves for Costco Run efficeincy. We have a little tradition here at the House of Ambig. Dis. As we get in the checkout line, we guess how much the total bill will be. Greg spurted out $280, Rich submitted $320, and I, in that way I have of talking out of my ass but making it sound reasoned and educated, offered up $311.26. The total came to $312.06. I'm not making this up.

Some comments about the beleagured Pussy Cats:
Moral victories are for losers. And lets face it, the Kitties are losers, so you can say this season has been an unquestioned moral victory. This last pathetic loss to the Dawgies stinks of half-rotted deer carcass, but to go 9-2 in the kind of year they've had: picked to finish last in the Pac-10, going through numerous injuries, and navigating their way through a conference that's as tough top to bottom as it's ever been... you can feel good about it. BUT: If the Pussies ever want to be considered legit, they are going to have to learn to pull off victories like this. When you come in to your rival's house as the Better Team with a shot at the conference championship and a BCS bowl game, you DO NOT lay an egg that that. The Huskies don't. It's unfair to compare the Cougs and the Dawgs, as the UW just has the resources available to them (most of all location) that WSU doesn't (PULLMAN!) Having said that, Mike Price and the Cougs do a good job, they play in a conference that is year in and year out one of the top 3 in the nation (and many years the Best) and they manage to put together contenders every few years. But this was one of those Years, and to legitimize it, they needed to win today... and they threw it away.

This is ridiculous. The Cougars play keystone cops football for three quarters, and now that it's the 4th, and UW has a convienent 19-7, they are going to just play solid, clock eating football and try to make this into a blowout. What a time for WSU to have a pathetic performance. TD UW... let's go to Costco.

Hi, and welcome to the 4th quarter of the WSU Cougars fumble, penalty, and boneheaded plays festival. We bring new meaning to the word CHOKE!

I'm sure the media will play this out as a another clutch Huskies performance... but what I'm seeing is a gift from the Pussy Cats of the Palouse.

Watching the Apple Cup... and a little worried because the Snarlin' Puppy-Dawgs of Montlake look like they are the better team so far and the Cougs are going to blow it. I would like to see UW throw to someone other than Regie Williams, however. Here's hoping the WSU offense gets on a roll and puts starts putting up a ton of points.

Last night I played some poker... and got a a serious roll. I was just getting the cards, I've never had a run like that in my life. I came out signifigantly ahead, to say the least.

Well, WSU just started the second half with a dumb play, and now a sack... not looking good.

I'm officially a welfare case. I got my first Unemployment Check yesterday, I 'm sure you're all so very proud of me.

Well WSU just fumbled and UW has the ball on the 1. OK, I hate to say it, but WSU is choking, and it will take a miracle for them to win. UW TD! 20-7.NO!!!! He misssed the PAT!!! 19-7, UW. Well, we'll see what happens! Wait that wasn't a fumble, the runner was down!!! Damn, I hope the Cougs come back, I think they are actually the better team (for once) and have a chance at a BCS bowl.

So, anyway, I got "paid" $354 by the State. Thanks, y'all (at least those of you who are taxpaying Washington residents). Now I have money for our Costco trip later today.

Am I the only person out there a little bothered by the fact that apparent savior of this nation's retail economy is game consoles -- what with X-Box out, Gamecube coming and the previously released PS2? Call me crazy, but that just seems dubious to me for some reason.

call me weird, but suddenly the boxers I buy in the three-pack at Costco seem really lame

OK, a brief note here, triggered by my "turning homo" comment.

Is it just me, or is the lamest possible thing to be in this society right now a white, hetero, male.

Okay, so I'm struck by the fact that half these girls aren't really all that good looking. I'm sure there are plenty of beautiful African women out there, but that chick from the Sudan definitely isn't one of them! I know there trying to be all international and shit, but come on. It also reinforces my belief that Daniela Pestova is the best of the lot of 'em. And where's Laetitia Casta? What sort of half-assed show is this.

But most of all, this "host" is as gay as the day is long. It kills me to see this guy cavorting with these supermodels, this is something that is truly wasted on someone as queer as a three dollar bill. Beyond that, is every male involved in the fashion industry light in the loafers, or is it just me?

Anyway, I'm beginning to conclude that the only way I'm ever going to get chicks is by turning homosexual.

I just want everyone out there to know, that YES, I am watching the Victoria's Secret "Fashion" Show on ABC right now.

Fun with your chainsaw, i.e. god-damn piece of shit!

By dad has a bum shoulder, so he requested my help this afternoon in taking down 3 vine maple trees in the yard. Most of the work involved loping shears (and my rent�s have some kick-ass loping shears, let me tell you, these suckers were practically bolt cutters!) and a small hand saw � as my dad would tell me, it�s a �Japanese Hand saw.�

Let me tell you about this hand saw. As my dad explained, most American handsaws are crap, because they are designed to cut on the push stroke, not the pull stroke. This saw didn�t look like much, but I couldn�t believe how effective it was, and how much more efficiently your muscles are used when the cut is on the pull stroke. I�m telling you, and recall many exasperated efforts in my life with piece of shit handsaws, I have been saved� I don�t want anyone to underestimate the importance of this either � a small part of my faith in this world has been restored. And it proves what a backwards fuckwit society America can be sometimes (see, metric system, and VHS or BETA).

It was important that this handsaw worked well, as when it was time to pull out the chainsaw, it crapped out on us. I�ve always given my dad a lot of grief (too much, usually) about his chain saw. It all stems from firewood gathering expeditions as a kid, when the chainsaw would crap out and we�d be dead in the water. Later, when I was a little older and we�d have logs delivered in the driveway, it seems like every year there�d be a major hold-up in the sawing and splitting process while some sort of chainsaw maintenance was required. At some point in this time-scale, when I started doing a lot of the sawing (being a little young for such things before) a new chainsaw was acquired, one that actually worked when it was needed.

This fact didn�t keep my mom (you know how mom�s can be) from nagging my dad about making sure the chainsaw was ready when any such endeavor was coming up (although by this time my mom rarely had any part in such things herself). I guess I picked up on this, and would always give my dad a hard time (that half-joking, half-serious kind of thing) about the chainsaw. �I�m not going to screw around with the damn thing.� I�d always say. The chainsaw always worked just fine.

Today, I never once mentioned anything about the chainsaw beforehand. Oddly enough, halfway through the first trunk (of three) the saw crapped out. You can�t make shit like this up, this is just how life works.

The good thing was the kick-ass hand saw, I powered through the three trunks with it, and we finished the job, except for cutting the trunks into 16� lengths for firewood purposes. We�ll need the chainsaw for that� a little too much work with just the handsaw.

I just spent the last several minutes watching "Live with Regis and Kelly."

oh god help me

I really hate to admit this, but I have put some serious thought lately into taking up recreational drug use.

back from my game, attempting to unwind

I have these disturbing visions, now and then, an inevitable consequence of the fact that I am a 'loser' and can't get girls, a chronic, transcendent, overwhelming lonliness, driving me to the brink of complete mental collapse, wishing I were a duck happily floating and quacking about Green Lake. Flash back to Yesterday, sitting in the back of a Jeep, bathed in a glow of fresh inebriation and unspent testosterone (an inevitable consequence of having been in row 2 at a Sonics game, with a clear view of the nubile young flesh wrapped tantilizingly in skin-tight "leather" also known as the Sonics dancers) listening to the tales of lays gone by, or given up because of an obtrusive "commitment," further tales of groping make-out sessions in the back of parents' Chevy Suburbans, and me, sitting there impotently, wishing I had Something to contribute (this one time, in bellingham...). Today I saw 10,000 (maybe more, but not necessarily on streets of cobblestone, mind you) Fine Young Men, a typical cross section of What's Good About America, the idiotic, the Committed, the Desirable, the Noteworthy, the "Succesful," the Comfortably Numb, and they were all holding their Pricks, waiting and hunting and drooling for the next moist crack to slam it into. Islands of hungry Males, like galaxies of the Horny drawn in by a Black Hole of Loviness, the center of these clusters being objects of immaculate Beauty, the most desirable of which drawing in the most reckless.

We all have our Weaknesses, but the point is our true Beauty is supposed to shine through, and draw in those we Truly want surrounding us. It's too bad it so rarely actually works that way.

and so i wish there was something magical i could say about the return of the ambiguously disgruntled manifesto, but there really isn't, to be honest, except that i intend to forgo capitilization in this message, because i feel like it.

here's where i would probably go into a long-winded explanation as to why its been since JUNE!!!! since i wrote anything 'public' but I don't feel like doing that either... so there (thppppppt!)

here is where i should also launch into a recap of my oh-so-interesting life since I stopped writing or mass-communicating with my ambivalent audience, but that would take far too much time... instead, i'm going to talk about my horrible phone converstaion with my mom a few minutes ago.

Augh! i try to communicate as little as possible with my mom, because al she seems to do is freak out and worry, and what with me being jobless since aug 21st, and being a complete psychological mess of depression and hopelessness, just as likely to "run away" to bend or moab or ft morgan or some such place as actually find yet another in a string of lame-ass jobs that use up another 6-12 month period of my life... jesus christ i'm rambling incoherently, for fucks sake, "life" or "the real world" or whatever you want to call it is an obese slavic leather-clad bitch sporting a 18-inch strap and and telling me to "grab yer ankles, pretty boy!" I may as well come to grips and accept it for what it is... in the immortal words of kurt cobain 'i hate myself and want to die'

wasn't i talking about my phone call with my mom? fuck it, that path is lost

i've got a game to head to, cowboys (and girls) ride em dry!

so it begins anew!